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Oct. 20th, 2005 @ 10:17 pm (no subject)
Ok, screw it, I give.
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Oct. 20th, 2005 @ 08:29 pm (no subject)
Go here, look, and comment, my new hair.
http://myspace-818.vo.llnwd.net/00270/81/87/270767818_l.jpg
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Oct. 15th, 2005 @ 10:10 pm Wow
I really don't know what to say. For the first time in a long time, I'm content, and it just feels so good being able to take things slow and enjoy each small little event. It feels good being able to let someone special experience sides of life they never saw before, and it feels perfect being accepted into their home almost immediately.
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Oct. 15th, 2005 @ 03:15 am Life's just full of surprises.
Its funny how the unexpected always happens. A new happiness has entered my life.
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Aug. 28th, 2005 @ 05:21 pm Homecoming, Part II. East 12th St. *Green Day*
And nobody cares
And nobody cares
Does anyone care if nobody cares?
And nobody cares and nobody cares
Does anyone care if nobody cares?
Jesus filling out paperwork now
At the facility on East 12th St.
He's not listening to a word now
He's in his own world and he's daydreaming
He'd rather be doing something else now
Like cigarettes and coffee with the underbelly
His life on the line with anxiety now
And she had enough
And he's had plenty
Somebody get me out of here
Anybody get me out of here
Somebody get me out of here
Get me the fuck right out of here
So far away. I dont want to stay
Get me outta here right now
I just want to be free
Is there a possibility?
Get me out of here right now
This lifelike dream aint for me.
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Aug. 18th, 2005 @ 09:05 pm Much Running Around
Well, got up a 7 A.M this morning to get ready for my orientation at UWF. So from 8:30 to 12 I went through boring speach after speach that I'd already heard before, finally making my Argo account and getting my card before heading to lunch. After that, they kinda sent me off without a clue to find the Honors Program advising center, but I eventually found it and set up my classes for my first semester of high school. I took it light, only 4 classes and a the lab for one, and I really like how my hours lay out.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday 9:00-9:50~University Physics 1
Monday, Wednesday, Friday 10:00-10:50~Introduction to Anthropology
Monday, Wednesday 1:00-2:15~Great Books 1
Monday, Wednesday 2:30-4:15~Analytic Geometry with Calculus II
Thursday 5:30-8:25~University Physics Lab 1

So basically, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are my main school days, and I have a lab Thursday night. Other then that I have 3 full days off, for homework and work.
When I finally got home at about 3 this afternoon, I had to go back out and get groceriers for my mom, so at about 6, when I stopped running, I came home and crashed out, and was off an on online since. So if I missed your IM, sorry, was napping.

I decided to go on a pretty strict diet today. I know a lot of people say I'm skinny, I weigh 126 lbs, but the problem is my stomach doesn't look it. So to get rid of my little pudge, I'm dropping the sodas forever, and switching to more healthy diet. Plus, I've started working out again, situps and jogging, trying to get into good shape for college I guess.
Oh, everyone cross your fingers! We await to hear if Chris will be the first White/Thai German Jew! *his audition*
That's about it for today, cya all later.
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Aug. 13th, 2005 @ 11:02 pm Poetry
My path is set, greatness to come
I stand on the focus of life.
Challenges and hurdles I have overrun
To stand where I stand today.
Accepted into permanence
Prevailing to the highest tier
I reach the ultimate compodium of achievement.

However, standing atop this apex I hear
The whispering of Fate in my ear.
Nagging, alluding, portraying a reality
That I wish to partake of more then words can describe.
Fate dances her hypnotic dance
Wrapping me in the illusional webs of desire
And shows me the way out,
Shows me the path to the perfect world
Where my heart's content lies in wait.

Never hesitating, never faulting
I take the leap, of Fate and Faith
I dive from my high precipice
Down through the shimmering light beneath me.
I fall through the flashing colors,
Reflecting my life as I fall
Joy seeps into my soul
I see the light of my true desire
Waiting in the distance as I fall.
And finally I dive through the shroud of luminescence.
And I see....
...Nothingness.

Cackling in the distance is Fate
Crowing her evil laughter through the void.
I fall past the light
Glimpsing it as a fake
Falling
Falling
Falling from my high heaven
Down to my sullen hell
With only Fate's maddening cackling
To accompany me on Styx's voyage.
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Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 11:06 pm (no subject)
Well, I lied, looks like I'm not leaving. At the last minute, FIT sent me a new bill letter, and instead of being +300, it said I owed them over 2,000, to be paid in full within 2 weeks. Long story short, I won't be going to college this semester. I'll just wait till the spring semester begins and I'll enroll at UWF, get a major in physics, and still probably make just as much at 1/4 the cost.
I'm having a hard time summing up my feelings, but I think my wallot does it best.
I'm RED, with anger, being mislead by a university of high prestige, mad at myself for not catching it sooner.
I'm ORANGE, happy, that I can stay here just a little bit longer with my friends, stay where I want to stay.
I'm YELLOW, scared, scared that I might not remember everything this spring after 8 months of school hiatus.
I'm GREEN, with envy, the jealous monster takes it hold on us all at times.
I'm PURPLE, sad, sad that i might be loosing something precious.
I'm BLUE, contemplative, I wonder if everything will turn out the way I hope.
Amy, when you read this, next year, what would you think about going in 1/2 with me on an apartment for a while?
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Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 02:44 pm Goodbye LJ
Well, I move in two weeks to go to college. Tomorrow is my last day of work and then Saturday is the day I go shopping with my mom for dorm stuff. I'm excited, but sad too cause i know it's gonna be a rough day on us both.
I'm happy Chris and I patched up our friendship at the end, and this John guy seems pretty nice from what I've read, so I'm just gonna fade out and let them be. To everyone that's posted here, thanks for sticking with me and being my friends, you all mean something special to me. I'll try to keep in touch, but i think this is it for me and LJ.
I'm not good at goodbyes, and I'm dreading saying bye to Chris, so I might just avoid that, I think that would be best for us both.
If anyone out there does wanna call and say bye to me before I go, here's my number: 1-850-968-2514. Again, thanks for sticking with me, and I hope everyone out there has a great life ahead of them, I wish you all the best, and I hope everything works out for everyone else in the end.
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Jun. 23rd, 2005 @ 06:03 pm (no subject)
WTH Chris, what is wrong with you. You fed me so much BS about how you cared about me, how you wanted to be my friend and how you never wanted us to stop talking to each other again. We go out for a day and I really feel we patched things up, I felt I could really trust you, then you tell me you want me to help you move cause you trust me, and it really made me feel special. You said you were going to call me and talk to me the next day but you never did. You said you would call me before you moved but you never did. You said you would let me know where you ended up staying, but you never did. You never answered your phone, nor your mom's, you let me tossed aside and completely in the dark. When you phone finally DOES work again, I leave several messages to have them not returned, and when you actually picked up the phone twice you hung up without saying anything. What the hell did I do to you Chris to deserve that? What did I ever do to anybody? Why is it everytime I get close to someone, they try to completely dissappear
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May. 31st, 2005 @ 08:00 am (no subject)
My Purity Report - Compared to Others
Category
- Lower - - Low - --- Average --- - High - - Higher -
Sexual:
72%
Homosexual:
95%
Nerdiness:
60%
Healthiness:
51%
Financial:
43%
Criminal:
29%
Drug Use:
45%
Grossness:
43%
Report By NerdTests.com. Click Here to get your purity scores!
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May. 24th, 2005 @ 03:48 pm Great....
Current Mood: angry
Went for my interview at Domino's a little earlier. Before I left, I decided to put my senior class ring on, for good luck. Got down there, waited for the managaer for about twenty minutes, and finally we started my interview. Everything was going fine, he kept saying how much the people that worked there had asked for him to hire me, then he finally asked me what college I was going to. Thinking this was an innocent question, I told him Florida Institute of Technology. He got an odd look on his face and asked if that was in the area, and I said no, it was in south Florida. End of interview. He said he wouldn't be able to hire me for the summer, since he wouldn't pay for my training just so I could leave. Also, he left me with the cheery remark "No one's hiring for summer-only anymore outside of fastfood." So I left, disheartened. I think my good luck charm is cursed, heh, so I'm going to see if my luck turns around any with me not having my ring for a while. Oh, if anyone knows a summer job that DOESN'T involve fastfood, would you let me know? I need to be able to make my insurance payment, and I already have student loan stuff to worry about.
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May. 23rd, 2005 @ 09:02 pm Too Perfect?
Current Mood: confused
Can someone define this for me? How can someone be 'too perfect'? How is it a bad thing? And since when was the choice to decide who I think 'deserves to be with me' taken away? -sigh- I'm going to bed, peace out.
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May. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:27 pm Summer
Current Mood: Tired
I am really starting to hate summer. All I do is either A. Sit at home. B. Work. or C. Wander mindlessly around the mall. I really didn't want to spend this summer single, I wanted at least one summer where I could be happy with somebody. Now, I don't even know if I should try. I don't know where people hang out outside of school, everyone I actually do bump into is already taken, and the ones that are left don't like me. Yeh, I plan on hanging out with my friends some over the summer, but it is different. -sigh- oh well.
On a lighter note, we all graduate Thursday, and I'm saying the pray..I bet Mr. Fisher's in a twist about that one. Also, I'm getting my ear pierced Friday, who saw THAT one coming?
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May. 18th, 2005 @ 09:00 pm Final Farewell
Well, tomorrow is my last day at Tate. I go in for one period only, to finish my DE calculus exam. After that, I'm gone, and other then the Senior Breakfast, I'll never be back. It's kinda sad...there's several people I'm gonna miss, and it just feels weird knowing one chapter of my life is ending now. Today made it seem better though. I went out to the beach by myself, not really expecting to see anybody from school, but after about 20 minutes of being there, I bumped into Larshiel. After that everyone started showing up, and about an hour and a half later, there were nearly 20 kids from Tate playing volleyball. It was fun to have one of our last get-togethers, but at the same time, it was really WAS one of our last get-togethers. Anyways, I'm out for tonight, and there's a couple people I need to say Bye to tomorrow, so be there.
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May. 15th, 2005 @ 12:57 pm Poetry...
Forever I gaze out from this window
That I call my soul,
Trapped, beating, searching for the light.

Forever I cling to these bars on my door,
Locking away my spirit
Deep within my mind.

Twice my failed attempts to fly
Have brought me crashing to the ground,
Shattered, broken, defeated.

Twice I struggled to my feet
Clutching my tattered wings,
Crying out in agony.

Battered, I rise again
Lifted away from my prison,
Held up high by the light of many souls.

I gaze into this light
And see within friends,
Each helping to heal my torn wings.

Finally I can fly again
And soar above the earthly pains,
Yet my new wings shall not fly as high as they once did.
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Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 09:27 pm (no subject)


You are






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Apr. 12th, 2005 @ 03:50 pm Sighs of Relief
Current Mood: jubilant
Well, I did it. I was on the phone for like 6 hours last night alternating between Chris and the ACLU, and I managed to get him a lawyer this very morning. The guy went with him and his mom to see Mrs Spooner, and Chris walked out scotfree. I've never had to pull so many strings in one night, heh. As for tomorrow. Word is we're gonna be allowed to do it, but no one is to wear black tape. Black arm bands are allowed though. Just be sure to respond to a teacher if they ask you a question. As far as the danger goes, there will be a plentitude of extra cops, and dogs, at school tomorrow. Mr Venotozzi also said that he wouldnt let his daughter go to school tomorrow if he thought it was dangerous, and Katherine is going, so it'll be fine. I, personally, am not going anywhere alone though, and I'll see about providing the same for Chris. But, all in all, everything's looking fine, and I can't even begin to describe how relieved I was when Chris told me he got off with no punishment. Plus, now it seems more and more people are ok with the idea that A there's a Day of Silence and B that Chris and I are going out. A lot of people that were put off by the ideas have been sitting down and really talking to me lately, and I've made a lot of friends that I never expected I would. Untill tomorrow, Peace.
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Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 03:15 pm Tomorrow is another day...
Current Mood: blah
Well, this weekend was great and bad at the same time. I spent all weekend on the phone with Chris, which was very sweet, but I missed being able to actually spend time with him. I'll be getting a car next Monday though, but I don't know how that will influence our plans for this weekend...I hope one of his friends can give me a ride. As for my car -sigh- its gonna be a 97 Mitsubshi, a pretty good car, but I bet my insurance is gonna be a good bit higher cause its kinda a sports car. My mom is being extremly moody and bitchy for no apparent reason, complaining about the fact that the van is wrecked, even though it was a freak accident. She seems to be just looking for reasons to be pissy. School's developing kinda weird...Mrs Spooner supposedly tried to 'help' with the DoS and contacted the state department to see if theyd let us, and they said no. That seems odd however, since other high schools across the state have it. I can't help but think that all this hostility we're suddenly facing is the result of her efforts to stop the DoS/GSA. If she'd been helpful from the beginning, maybe people'd be more cooperative. The ACLU contacted me again this afternoon, bad news guys. Their lawyers finally got done reviewing the case, and because its a school, and since we all signed 'contracts' on our Rights and Responibilities handbooks, it seems that legally, she CAN prohibit the event, and punish us, for participating. Again, this seems ridiculous, and the ACLU thinks so too, so they're trying to find a way to declare the handbook unconstitutional. I don't know who to trust anymore, Spooner, the ACLU, GLSEN. It seems everyone just wants a fight and has forgotten that all we wanted to begin with was one day of peaceful silence...
As far as peaceful goes, Tate's anything but that at the moment. People are talking about straight people shooting gays, gay people shooting straights, its ridiculous, and its gotten way out of hand. People like Anthony Yates go around antagonizing people to act out against us, they do nothing but spread rumors and lies about us and what Day of Silence is. I swear, if I here "Its Gay Day" one more time I'm gonna punch someone. Oh, and I don't give a rats ass about what anyone says about me and Chris, I'm tired of all the jeering that goes on when we hug or hold hands. I'm not gonna stop doing it, so just get over it. I love you Chris *hug*
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Apr. 9th, 2005 @ 07:08 pm (no subject)


Your Element Is Fire



Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.

You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.

Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.


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